Archive for October, 2012

Passion – Drive or Drain?

Posted in Uncategorized on October 16, 2012 by Waylon

Disclaimer: This post is not about anything or anyone in particular just a general post that was inspired by a conversation.

When does a passion turn from a driving force that gives you all the energy you can handle and more to a draining part of your life? And how once it has changed do you take it back to that driving force of  limitless energy?

An interesting conversation i had with a friend today (oh yes, all conversations i have now may be turned to blog posts) about how passions can affect you. Obviously when it is good, its an amazing effect. But what happens when it doesnt work the wya you expect it to. Obviously yes its going to suck. That goes without saying.

BUT as someone who get passionate about alot of things (i know you find this hard to believe), i know it can be more than just a “oh well that sucks but lets move on”. It becomes an energy drainer. It becomes an emotional and mental drainer. It keeps on sucking the life out of you, even once you have decided that its time to step away.

BUT what happens if you know its worth sticking by it even though it has gotten to a point of being more of a drain than a drive? What happens when a part of the passion is a drive and another part is a drain? How do you keep going, “knowing” its going to work out in your favour but feeling the mental and emotional drain? IS stepping back going to work when you dont WANT to be away from the passion but you know you should? Is it stepping back, if you are constantly focused on the passion while you are not in/with the passion.

Where do you go when you live your life by a credo of following your passions and every part of your life gets rocked all at once? What happens when your view on these passions all changes or what you were passionate about ends?

What if your passions werent ever what you thought they were but once you actually fully discovered them you were no longer passionate about them?

When do you get to the point where you stop yourself becoming passionate about something because you have nothing more to be taken?

 

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Lyrics – Emelie Sande – Read All about it Pt III

Posted in Uncategorized on October 15, 2012 by Waylon
“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.” – Henry David Thoreau.

You’ve got the words to change a nation but you’re biting your tongue

You’ve spent a life time stuck in silence afraid you’ll say something wrong

If no one ever hears it how we gonna learn your song?

So come, on come on Come on, come on

You’ve got a heart as loud as lions So why let your voice be tamed?

Baby we’re a little different there’s no need to be ashamed

You’ve got the light to fight the shadows so stop hiding it away

Come on, Come on

I wanna sing, I wanna shout I wanna scream till the words dry out

Sso put it in all of the papers, i’m not afraid

they can read all about it read all about it

At night we’re waking up the neighbours while we sing away the blues

making sure that we remember yeah cause we all matter too

if the truth has been forbidden then we’re breaking all the rules

so come on, come on come on, come on, lets get the tv and the radio to play our tune again

its ’bout time we got some airplay of our version of events

there’s no need to be afraid i will sing with you my friend

Come on, come on
Yeah we’re all wonderful, wonderful people so when did we all get so fearful?

Now we’re finally finding our voices so take a chance, come help me sing this

 

How much is that dignity in the window? (Facebook repost)

Posted in Uncategorized on October 15, 2012 by Waylon

I have always been a person that has the ability to look inside myself and see what my issues are. For a long time i was too scared to actually do it. But i always COULD do it if i needed to. And i did many times. When i was 21 i was forced, almost literally, to face what i had spent alot of time not facing. And the strangest part of it all is that that thing that i had to face was the thing i should have known better than anything: ME.

Once i did this and realised that i had NO idea who “me” was, i decided that the only way to discover this was to strip back, purposely and quite conciously, the multitude of walls and covers and protections that i had built up without knowing, until i felt like an empty. Once i got to the point (over many years. This was slow, painful process) where everything that was left, i understood and felt comfortable with, two things happened. I felt empty. But i felt free. For the first time in many many years i knew who i was. There wasnt much of me, but i knew it intimately. Over the next few years i tried, unsuccessfully, never to lose sight of who i was. To never build another wall, to never be dishonest about who i was and what i believed. But while doing this, build the empty shell into a real, honest and confident person. The person i was before i lost myself. Its taken many years so far. Many more than i would ever expected it to take. But i have also realised that its a project that will never, and should never, end. That we are constantly changing. That, although it is hard, we need to continually be introspective. And constantly be brave and honest enough to face who we are. Who we really are.

Although it was a hard process it has absolutely allowed me to know myself well. And not just know myself but UNDERSTAND myself. If something does arise that i dont understand, i know i can question instrosepctively and get the answer that i need. Once i have retrieved that answer i can decide whether i need to change the trait that has allowed that thing to arise or i need to embrace it and understand it. THEN just do it.

During this process i realised one thing. One thing that i had heard a million times but never truly understood. One thing that was a massive turning point that changed fundamentally who i was.

No one person is any more important that any other single person. Not you, not the person next to you, not the richest, most powerful or most beautiful person in the world, and absolutely not me.

We have all heard it. We have all said it. But how many of us actually realise it? How many of us actually realise this on a day to day basis?

How often do we conciously think about how what we are doing, while stuck in our own little universe, will effect others. From the little things, like not staying left on an escalator or walking side by side with four of our friends (in OUR own little universe) and therefore blocking the pathway for everyone else, to bigger things like forgetting common courtesy on a busy train just to catch up 5 seconds on your trip home, or driving at high speeds on the roads just to get to our destination 30 seconds sooner?

Since when has the price of time been respect? Is the potential life of another person, or your own really worth 30 secs longer at your destination? Is getting home 5 secs earlier really worth pushing and shoving hundreds of other people in peak hour, who are in exactly the same situation as you, and in the process your dignity and respect?

Are we really that busy? Do we really think we are more important that everyone else on that train, that we turn into beasts and forget basic human respect?

Since when has the price of outward success been inward satisfaction? Are you doing what you love to do? Or are you just doing what you have to to pay the bills? When did this become OK? When did we let ourselves believe that it was OK to not be satisifed as long as it appears on the outside that we are?

Has our need for acceptance come at the cost of our own self worth and satisfaction? Is external acceptance really worth anything if we dont accept ourselves? Does ANYTHING have worth if we dont value ourselves?

If you could do ANYTHING at all, something that would make you get up in the morning completel satisfied what would it be? Are you doing it? If not, why not? If the answer is money or fear or even worse “I dont know”, then when did you trade self satisfaction for a financial price or for fear? And how much will it cost to get back?

As i mentioned before, this is an ever constant project and there is always a time that we can look inside ourselves and find something, regardless of how small or big that can be looked into further and understood more or removed from our thinking or personality.In saying this we can get to a point where we are truly confident in who we are and can provide ourselves with everything that we need mentally. Once we are at this point an amazing and beautiful thing happens:

We become invincible. No one can ever take this away from us. Unless we let them. We no longer need external gratification to feel whole. External gratification becomes an extra little bonus. Imagine never NEEDING anyone to make you whole. Imagine only having people in your life that you WANT in your life and not having to keep someone in your life because they fill a little hole you feel inside of yourself! Imagine being able to be YOU all the time and having nothing to hide. From anyone. THAT is total freedom.

With total freedom comes lack of stress. If you are completely in tune with who you are, then you are not reliant on any person or any situation to keep you feeling whole which in turn allows you to easily remove yourself from the stress.

This isnt to be confused with being completely feelingless. In fact the opposite is what it is all about. Being completely immersed in living life to the fullest. Enjoying EVERY moment, whether it is stuck in peak hour traffic or doing something you love with someone you love. If you know yourself you will build a life that is perfectly built for you.

45 Life Lessons, written by a 90 year old

Posted in Uncategorized on October 14, 2012 by Waylon

Pretty good list of things to live by. Sometimes we take ourselves, our situations and life itself a little too seriously as we are so ingrained in our life. Obviously.

How many of these do you do?
1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short not to enjoy it.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for things that matter.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye… But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful.  Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to be happy.  But it’s all up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose Life.

28. Forgive but don’t forget.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give Time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d
grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you think you need.

42. The best is yet to come…

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

I have absolutely no idea how to put it on here straight from the actual site but this is from “Men who Dress Like Men” ( http://kangalex.com/post/31729006624/45-life-lessons-written-by-a-90-year-old)

Lyrics – Pink – Try

Posted in Uncategorized on October 13, 2012 by Waylon

Ever wonder about what he’s doing
How it all turned to lies
Sometimes I think that it’s better to never ask why

Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone’s bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn’t mean you’re gonna die
You’ve gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try
You gotta get up and try try try

Funny how the heart can be deceiving
More than just a couple times
Why do we fall in love so easy
Even when it’s not right

Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone’s bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn’t mean you’re gonna die
You’ve gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try
You gotta get up and try try try

Ever worried that it might be ruined
And does it make you wanna cry?
When you’re out there doing what you’re doing
Are you just getting by?
Tell me are you just getting by by by

Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone’s bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn’t mean you’re gonna die
You’ve gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try
You gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try
You gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try

You gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try

Relationship issues – Do you value them for what they are?

Posted in Uncategorized on October 13, 2012 by Waylon

Lately i have had a lot of friends go through relationship issues. These have been of varying degrees depending on the relationship. From little annoyances to full blown arguments bringing healthy relationships to the brink of ending.

Now, i by absolutely no means have any issue with these issues beign discussed with me as if they are then we are most probably pretty good mates and therefore im more than happy to hear them out and give them whatever advise i think is necessary.

BUT – the whole idea of asking relationship advise from a man who has been single for over 5 years, who’s longest relationsip was a year (and who took over3 times the length of that relationship to cope with it ending), always seems a little crazy to me. A man who falls in love purely on feeling, and not on reality of the situation.

This last one may sound a little strange but so often we like someone or feel attracted to them but shun it off and not allow it to grow or further it, because they are too young, or too old, or too some other thing. Isn’t love ALL about feeling? Isnt it about finding that person that gives you goosebumps just by being in their presence? About finding the person who makes you a better person without either of you even trying? None of this has anything to do with practicality, none of this has to do with how old a person is, or what they do for a living, or how much money they have…… This is all about the way someone makes you feel.

Isnt it?

ANYWAY – As for the advise, this is what i think about relationships.

If you complain about the fact that your partner is overbearing, that your partner hogs the TV, that your partner does this or doesnt do that, just think – i would LOVE to have someone to have an argument with about this stuff.

Right now i would rather have someone support what i am doing 50% of the time, someone to hog the bedsheets every night, someone to NOT cook dinner every now and then, than to have no one to support me 100% of the time, no one to share my bedsheets with, and no one to cook me dinner EVER.

Whenever you complain that your partner doesnt tell you they love you enough. Or that your partner doesnt hold you at night, or that your partner doesnt spoil you or make you feel special enough, Think about this.

Its been 7 years since i have heard those three words with that meaning.

Its been over a year since anyone has held me at night.

Its been over 5 years since i had a boyfriend to spoil me OR for me to spoil.

Now dont take this post as a pity me, poor little me, i have it hard sort of post. Because its not and i dont. I have amazing friends and i have an amazing support network to fill the gap. But every now and then i would love to have someone to argue with about stuff that only means anything in a relationship.

Arguements about the things above and other stuff like it means that you have someone. You have someone that cares. They may not say it, they may not show it, but they are there. Just because its an argument, doesnt mean its all bad.

Gratitude 7 – Time Out

Posted in Uncategorized on October 7, 2012 by Waylon

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.

-Henry David Thoreau

Sometimes, without even knowing it, we tend to overload our lives with so much to do, that we get lost on our way to where we are going. If we dont realise this we get so far off track that we dont remember where it was we were actually heading. By the time we realise, we have no idea where we are, or how long we have been off track for.

Sometimes the course of our journey is changed by forces out of our control. Regardless of how we got there, sometimes we need to take some time out to get back on track.

I have found that time out is one of the most powerful tools to help us reset our journey. By stepping away we get to remind ourselves of what is important. Once we know whats important we can reset our priorities. Once we have our priorities we can remap our journey.

Lately i have been through a HUGE amount of change, and the next 6 months will be no different. Although i am still focused and know exactly where i am going, the path has become muddled and full of hurdles and unecceassary clutter.

Referring to these situations and different focuses as clutter does not detract from the importance that they have had, or do have, in my life. It is just a situtation that takes away from my long term focus, which in turn, doesnt allow me to be completely focused on the journey or the destination.

Currently i am in mental time out from the situations and am making some of the hardest choices i have had to make. In the process i will be leaving behind things that have been a big part of my life for a long time. By no means does this mean that these things are no longer important to me, it just means that they need to be left behind to give me the room to focus on getting to where i need to be.

So the next 6 months will bring HUGE amounts of change, but as i have mentioned in my last few days of gratitude, i have some amazing tools and even more amazing people in my life to help me stay on track. ALOT is gonna change and alot will be left behind but what will eventuate is going to be amazing.

Of THAT, i am sure.

The journey and the destination