Dance – My Possible Impossible

When one of your impossibles becomes a possible, all of your impossibles become possibles.

One of my impossibles starting becoming a possible in November 2011.

My impossibles no longer exist.

Dressed in all new Nike gear including high top sneakers i felt absolutely ridiculous. The image of a kid wearing his fathers clothes came into my mind and the idea of pulling out of what i was going to do was stuck in my mind. If i didnt just spend $200 on these ridiculous (at the time) clothes i may have left. I had no idea how the next hour would change everything. And i mean everything.

It was BODYJAM 60 filming at Les Mills Auckland in Studio 1. I had told a friend that i would do BODYJAM with her as a bit of fun. How hard could it be? I looked ridiculous already so no one expected me to be good at it. I had never sweated in a BODYJAM class in my life and i couldnt even say i had even really enjoyed it before. This was the first thing to change…

When i was younger i harboured this secret little fantasy to dance in a show of some sort in a group of people with loud music and really put on a show that made people move. I was never the lead, but always a part of a group of people being moved by the music. The fact i couldnt dance made absolutely no difference at all. Whenever i tried to dance i wanted to call and ambulance on myself it looked that ridiculous. Slowly i started to realise that this little fantasy was always gonna be just that. A Fantasy. I was cool with that.

I had heard a wise man, wiser than his age implies, say on many occasions that anyone can dance. I laughed him off while wondering what crack he had been on and where i could get some, because he had obviously not seen me dance. Like a new buddhist monk in a conversation with buddha himself, i thought i understood what he was saying but also thought it was completely nonsensical and ridiculous.

A lifelong dream came true in that Auckland Studio. Im not sure where i went for that hour, but i went there with hundreds of other people. I have no idea what i looked like dancing and i never once thought about calling 000. I didnt care what i was wearing because it allowed me to move. Im still not sure if the music entered me or i entered the music that night but whatever it was i wanted more.

And sweat….. my god did i sweat. Suddenly G was a god. Suddenly i was in awe. And not just because he was G. The Waylon that walked in in those ridiculous clothes dissolved into the sweaty mess that stood not knowing exactly what just happened to him. And he was gone forever. And G did it. And he had no idea.

That night i made a promise to Nathan. A promise to dance. To really dance. Once BJ60 was released in Oz, i would attend BODYJAM classes regularly. Once the hype quitened i wondered why i had even made the promise. BUT a promise is a promise. And it was a promise i intended on keeping.

So BODYJAM 60 came and i thought what better place to start than the quarterly workshop. So quartlery workshop it was. Instantly i was transported back to Studio 1 and i was in love again. Same thing for the next class, and the next. And the next.

I COULD dance. I may not have looked good doing it. But i could dance. Buddha now made complete sense and i was enlightened.

As i only did BODYJAM with the one instructor who i as comfortable exploring this new found love with i relaxed into it quickly. Over the next few months i danced as much as i could. And with every class i enjoyed it more. Not only did i enjoy the dance, i loved the new family i discovered in this new dance world.

As i started to realise that my impossible became possible, it changed my whole life outside dance. Dance, in making me feel alive, and i mean skin tingling, goosebump alive, made everything else stale. That which i thought i loved suddenly didnt seem enjoyable. I made a decision to ONLY do things that gave me goosebumps. That allowed me to live and i mean really live.

I quit my job with no where to go, i danced more, i spent my money until i had none. And i didnt care because i felt so alive. Suddenly EVERYTHING made me happy. EVERYTHING made me feel how dance did, and dance made me feel even MORE alive.

At around the same time as i became seriously addicted to dance, i was organising Dance events. BODYJAM, Sh’bam, Zumba it didnt matter….. All together seemed to work…..

THEN Future Dance classes started.

Wow i thought i loved BODYJAM….. It was like Future Dance was MADE for ME! A dance class based around the whole concept that everyone can dance. And i was no longer in the chorus…. i was auditioning for So You Think You Can Dance…. I was the star of the Show…..Friday nights became dance night.

I COULD DANCE!!!!!!!

Dance has become my release. Future Dance has become my family. My family has changed who i am. My Family has made my impossible……Possible.

Now i have no impossibles – Just possibles.

I never thought i could ever dance. Now i cant stop dancing. Everywhere. Music is constantly in my ears and my body is constantly reacting to it. I am dancing. Everywhere.

Dance has given me a confidence to become who i want to be. Me.

                                                                        

“Everyone can dance” used to make me laugh. “Everyone can dance” now makes me smile.

If someone had told me the night of BODYJAM 60 filming that my life was about to change in a massive way and that dance was the catalyst, i would have thought they too were on crack.

If someone was to tell me that dance would give me the confidence to live my life the way i WANTED to i would have told them to cha cha the hell away from me.

One class. One promise. One belief. One lifechanging night.

To FUTURE|dance and my dance Family – Thank you. Thank you for not laughing at the new kid. Thank you for encouraging me. Thank you for taking me in. Thank you for being part of the journey.

Nathan – Thank you for your belief that “Everyone can Dance”. Thank you for holding me to the promise. Thank you for the patience. Never underestimate the difference you are making by what you are doing. I am truly indebted to you.

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