Archive for distance

Hey friend, I’m sorry its been so long

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on January 17, 2014 by Waylon

So last weekend i went to Canberra. Not too exciting for most, but i was ridiculously excited and was counting the hours till i was there. Although i love the whole feel of Canberra, thats not why i was excited. Although i was looking forward to doing the galleries, and all the arts and culture stuff (yeah i know, kinda weird for me huh), thats not why i was excited.

I was excited because Matt was there.

Matt and i had lived together for around 5 years, a year before we came to Sydney and the rest of the time in Sydney. We met properly the day that we signed the lease to our place on the Central Coast . (I think we met before that but very briefly,  and i think we were both drunk). In the whole time that we have known each other, we have never had an argument. In five years, he made me laugh nearly every single day regardless of my mood, and regardless of what i was going through. Without fail, any time i was going through something tough, Matt was there, either with a joke, with food, with some brutal honesty, or with whatever else i needed. Somehow he knew exactly what that was.

Then he moved out. It was the last thing i wanted, but i knew that it was the right thing for him to do, so i had to let him go. It was only into the city so it wasn’t that far away, so it was all good. The night that I packed up (Matt had already had his stuff moved out, Matt played “For Good” from the Wicked Soundtrack. It kinda summed up exactly how i felt about him and the friendship. He absolutely changed me for the better.

Then in June last year, he moved to Canberra with his bf. The same one from Sydney. This may not have made me too happy, but again i knew it made Matt happy. And its only a couple of hours down the road, right? Obviously the bf was told he ain’t going any further than Canberra without me!

Anyway, Matt and I ended up doing the whole life thing and we would text or whatever less often than we did when we lived together (which was pretty much all day every day), he would ask when I’m coming down to Canberra, I’d say soon, with some excuse attached as to why I couldn’t come right now, and then a couple of months later I’d say soon again with another excuse, usually that I couldn’t afford it. Christmas, New year period came around and I decided that i WAS going to go to Canberra. I told Matt and then return flights to Canberra appeared in my email. I was going. And apparently I was flying.

So the text frequency grew in the lead up to Canberra. Countdowns, jokes, plans made. Then I landed in Canberra and caught up with Matt for two full days and nights. It was like he had never moved out. We continued with the same jokes, we found the same random shit funny that no one else did and i loved every minute i was there. And i didn’t want to go home. Ever. I got back home to Sydney, and i started thinking.

How many relationship have i let fall by the wayside, because “life got in the way?” How many good friendships suffered because i was too busy, too broke, too something?

All too often we find ourselves looking back and thinking “Wow i haven’t spoken to them for ages. I used to speak to them everyday. I guess life got in the way”. How many friends have just faded away in time, because of life? When was the last time you spoke to your family? Your mum? Dad? Siblings?

And i do mean speak. As in conversations using speech. Not a text conversation, not a Facebook comment, or like here and there, but an actual verbal real time conversation. When was the last time you sat down and actually caught up with that person who used to be the first call?

What I realised when I got home from Canberra, is that I missed the little bastard. I love the text messages, but I miss the connection that can only be had by being in person. By sitting on the same couch talking crap or watching Ja’mie (If you haven’t done it, do it. Its Ja’mazing. And she is totes quiche.), by retiring before our time and taking a walk around the lake catching up, by heading out and having dinner, catching a movie or having a couple of drinks. Text messages are fine, if they are in between these things, but not as a substitute. Not as an instead-of.

I understand that sometimes you can’t be in person, they are overseas, they are across the other side of the country, they are in solitary confinement in a maximum security prison. It doesn’t matter, there are ways. (OK so maybe not while they are in solitary confinement in a maximum security prison, but you get the idea.) Skype, Facetime, phone calls, yelling really loud, hoping the wind carries your voice etc are free, or very affordable ways to stay in touch (OK, again, maybe not the yelling. That was a stupid idea, but again you get my drift)

The whole point here is that life only gets in the way if you let it. Don’t use “Im too busy”, “I’m too broke”, “It’s been too long”, as excuses. Like Kate Miller Heidke said in her song “Don’t let Go“,

“Being busy’s no excuse, to pull away and lose touch with my friends…Its the busy-ness that brings us to our knees. Who invented all these things we have to do?”

So don’t let go, don’t let go, don’t let go, don’t let go, don’t let goooooo because your busy, broke or any other reason. Don’t let life be your fall bitch, don’t let life be your scape goat. Make the call. Say “Im sorry, i miss you, lets catch up”.

You never want it to be too late.