The coffee is too good to risk.

A couple of days ago it was Valentines Day. As with the last few years i didn’t have a special someone to spend it with, and i spent it with a good mate just hanging out, eating food, watching Chicago Fire, and talking crap. So no real difference to any other day really.

Sometime throughout the conversation of the night, i mentioned that Valentines Day last year was the worst one i had had (read my 2013 post, no need to go into it here.), and that i was hoping that Valentines Day this year would signal the start of something better (so far so good). She mentioned that i should have asked a certain person i may or may not be interested in to do something that night, that it might be a sign of the start of something good.

With the start of the year going really well, i’m hoping that it stays like that, and i’m not taking any chances on anything crazy (Like asking someone i may or may not  interested in, to do something on Valentines Day for instance), and i’d wait until i knew that my apparent bad luck curse of 2013 was well and truly completed. My reply was:

“I’m sort of glad i didn’t ask, as i sort of wanted to test it on something a little less important…like a job or a house”…

I’ve learned through experience that if the job doesn’t work, you quit and get another one (most would do it the other way round, but that’s not my style.) The money from one is the same as the money from another, right? If i apply for a house, and i don’t get it, i apply for another one. A house is a house right? The risk seems almost nil.

BUT, when it comes to matters of the heart…well that is a completely different story.

I used to be either all in, or all out. What i AM learning is WHEN to go all in. And the answer to that is “not straight away”… But when i know that i want to go in, then there is risk there. And before i do anything about it i need to know that something is actually there to go in to. No point risking it all for nothing right?

I used to not care. I used to just go all in, give everything and deal with the consequences of going all in once it didn’t work. Pretty much the same as the way i spent my money. You got it, you spend it. And, well yeah. Let’s say that approach hasn’t exactly worked too well in the past. Unlike money, for me anyway, when an investment of the heart fails, what i have to give, grows. So each subsequent investment becomes bigger. And the risk gets greater. And the amount to give, grows. And after i don’t even know how many failed investments, over too many years, i wanna give a bit.

Now it seems, i have put what i’m risking into an indefinite term deposit until what is deemed a worthy investment comes along. I gamble my day to day on testing if its worth the investment. Not usually the way i operate, but its time to invest smart. 

I’d rather be homeless and financially bankrupt, than face bankruptcy of the heart.

And lets face it, the coffee is too good to risk.